Adolescence is tough. It’s a time of academic pressure, social challenges, and navigating who you are in a world that often feels overwhelming. For many teens, this manifests as anxiety—a feeling that can take hold and disrupt their daily lives.
Anxiety is common among teens, but that doesn’t make it any less challenging. The good news is that anxiety is not a life sentence. With the right support, teens can learn to manage their monkey minds, build resilience, and face their fears with confidence.
Understanding Anxiety in Teens
Anxiety often shows up as avoidance, overthinking, or a deep need to control situations. It might look like a teen avoiding class presentations, staying up late worrying about grades, or withdrawing from social activities. Physically, anxiety can feel like a racing heart, stomachaches, or trouble sleeping. Emotionally, it can feel isolating and heavy.
The tricky thing is that anxiety can convince teens they’re alone in these experiences. But anxiety isn’t a flaw—it’s a response to the pressures of growing up in a complicated world.
How We Can Help
Supporting teens with anxiety isn’t about “fixing” them. It’s about giving them tools to quiet their inner chaos, face their fears, and discover their strength. Jennifer Shannon, a therapist specializing in anxiety, offers excellent strategies in her Anxiety Survival Guide for Teens. These include:
Challenging Negative Thoughts: Anxiety thrives on distorted thinking, spinning worst-case scenarios that feel real. Shannon’s approach involves helping teens identify and question these thoughts, replacing them with more balanced perspectives.
Exposure Work: Avoiding what makes us anxious only fuels fear. Shannon emphasizes gradual exposure, starting with small, manageable steps to face fears, which reduces anxiety’s power over time.
Mindfulness and Grounding: Techniques like deep breathing, grounding exercises, or focusing on the present moment are tools Shannon uses to help teens reconnect with their bodies and calm their minds.
Self-Compassion: Teens often struggle with harsh self-criticism. Shannon advocates for teaching teens to treat themselves with the same kindness they’d offer a friend, which can soften anxiety’s grip.
The Role of Conscious Parenting
Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s The Awakened Family provides invaluable insights into parenting anxious teens. Her approach to conscious parenting encourages parents to shift from control to connection and to view their children as individuals with unique needs and experiences.
Tsabary highlights several transformative practices for caregivers:
Letting Go of Perfection: Teens often feel the weight of their parents’ expectations. Tsabary urges parents to release their need for control or perfection, allowing teens to feel accepted and supported rather than judged.
Cultivating Presence: Anxiety pulls teens into fears about the future or regrets about the past. Parents who practice mindful presence provide a steadying influence, helping their teens stay grounded.
Breaking Cycles: Tsabary emphasizes that children’s anxiety often mirrors unhealed parts of their caregivers. By addressing their own triggers, parents can create a safer emotional space for their teens.
This aligns with Dr. Becky Kennedy’s work in Good Inside, which also focuses on creating a foundation of safety, trust, and validation for teens. Kennedy’s concept of reparenting encourages parents to meet their children’s struggles with empathy and connection while fostering resilience and emotional growth.
Practical Tips for Parents and Caregivers
Parents and caregivers play a pivotal role in supporting anxious teens. Drawing from Shannon, Tsabary, and Kennedy, here are key strategies for helping teens manage anxiety:
Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their emotions without trying to “fix” them. Statements like, “That sounds really hard; I’m here for you,” create a space where teens feel seen and understood.
Focus on Connection Before Correction: If a teen is spiraling into anxiety, prioritize connection over solutions. Listening, reflecting their feelings, and offering empathy helps de-escalate their distress.
Be Their Anchor: Anxiety often feels like being adrift. A calm, grounded parent or caregiver can provide a stabilizing presence for teens to hold onto.
Model Healthy Coping: Teens learn by watching. Demonstrating mindfulness, self-care, and emotional regulation shows them how to navigate stress effectively.
Why This Work Matters
Helping teens navigate anxiety is about more than managing symptoms. It’s about equipping them with tools and skills that will serve them throughout their lives. By teaching them to challenge distorted thoughts, lean into discomfort, and practice self-compassion, they build resilience and confidence.
I hold teens as full human beings worthy of respect and self-agency. In my work, I meet them where they are, offering presence, acceptance, and validation. While honoring their autonomy, I also provide guidance and help them contextualize their feelings and experiences. Together, we work on self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and self-regulation, creating a “third place” outside of family that is free from judgment and performance pressure.
Informed by Jennifer Shannon's practical strategies, Dr. Shefali Tsabary's relational focus, and Dr. Becky Kennedy's empathetic reparenting principles, this work creates a foundation for teens to grow, discover their strengths, and move forward with confidence.
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